Liberty

Illustration: Sarah Barnard

How odd to remember everything in grey

I’m looking through the window

Of your room painted yellow and black

My whole childhood one blurry flashback

With some clear shots of the police knocking at our door

And cigarette smoke filling my seven year old lungs

Of plates flying through the air

And how you, my sister, were never really there

Mostly I’m just filling in the blanks

Of things I know, have heard and almost seen

Of looking through old pictures of when you were a teen

Trying to find the answers

Why there is no room for me in your life

By knitting a scarf of all the questions left unasked

Hoping I can somehow reconcile my past

Did you come home with a trace of powder on your nose

Lock yourself inside your room for three days in a row

Did the pills you chase down quiet the screams of the demons in your dreams

Were you too afraid to open up the curtains

And find out the nightmare is in the light

Did you find comfort in burning your skin

In never once letting me in

Did your heart grow when Jesus replaced the psychiatric ward

Did Love fill your obliviated heart  

Did you really think that wearing ankle length skirts in Liberty

Would ever truly set you free?

Talitha Mayisha is a 28-year-old emerging poet from the Netherlands. She started writing poetry when her health began to improve again after years of being bedridden in a pitch-dark room because of her illness. Most of her work is based on her own experiences of (mental) health, growing up in a dysfunctional family and the deconstruction of her faith. She is passionate about books, mythology, intersectional feminism and animals.

Sarah Barnard is a largely self-taught artist based in Edinburgh and Norfolk, working mostly in acrylics, inks, and airbrush.  After a slightly unconventional journey to art through marine biology and environmental sciences, Sarah became a professional artist in 2015.  Sarah is inspired by strong-minded people, their stories and attitudes; as well as the natural world and environmental concerns.  When not painting, Sarah enjoys practicing yoga, taking on challenges for charity, and running extremely slowly!