Exams are Coming Up

Foreword by the author
A few years ago, during my mocks for Year 11 GCSEs, I wrote a poem called ‘exams are coming up’ (spoken word). It’s a poem that means a lot as it highlights the way I feel about exams, and the difficulties many pupils face in regards to exams that are ignored by the government. I do Sociology for my A-Levels and am looking to study it at university level, and sociological research shows that girls tend to do much better in coursework related assessments than they do in exams. I’m one of these girls.

I am terrified of exams. I can’t help but think that exams show nothing about the person you are, except your ability to regurgitate information linked to a question and an ability to hit assessment objectives. If you met me, I would have a twinkle in my eye the minute you asked me what I like doing, I would be fuelled by passion and the desire to create. Exams don’t show that about me. I know others may disagree with me, and that’s ok. I’m not here to argue. I’m here to highlight an issue that is ongoing among young students.

‘Exams are coming up.’

At this, the girl freaks,

But she can’t show it.

She’s helpless towards a phrase

That makes her jump out of her skin.

She shivers and her eyes tear up, but school taught her that’s for the weak,

So instead she breathes and listens as the teacher tells her the rules and regulations

Of how not to fail.

She doesn’t get taught that failure is a natural part of life,

But rather gets threatened with the mere thought of it.

 

Step 1. Be on time for your exams.

Because who cares if you were up all night contemplating suicide,

Or you were being sick the whole morning because of stress?

Who cares if you were having a panic attack in the car on the way to school and almost fainted?

‘Be on time, be prepared, or else you’ll be disqualified.’

As if your whole future depends on being on time for one exam.

 

Step 2. Bring the right equipment.

That means, yes, the compass you used to hurt yourself with,

Or the ruler that you snapped out of pure anger that you even have to take these exams.

That means the pencil that you can’t draw with anymore because it only reminds you of the countless calculations that you were forced to make for nothing.

And alongside that, the calculator you bought for more value than you feel you have right now.

 

Step 3. No electronic equipment unless necessary.

Because what’s not necessary is having to text someone that you can’t take this anymore because that just means you’re cheating, right?

And I’m not saying this is everyone,

But there are certain individuals that are being insulted of their individuality,

And whether you know it or not,

Anyone who enters that exam hall is being insulted of their individuality and there is nothing they can do because a specific letter of the alphabet —

Which, may I remind you, we use to write words of wisdom,

not only words that we’ve stayed up late memorising over and over again —

Proves more about them than their personality or creativity.

How many more kids need to become the D, E, A and D that is clearly plastered on their exam paper,

before we start realising that exams are good for nothing?

Before we start realising that kids,

Who have a whole future ahead of them,

Are getting so stressed over an exam grade,

They feel they’re worth less than the grade they are expected to get,

And we start caring more about the letters that are on our exam papers,

Than the letters written on our suicide notes.

 

The definition of Teacher is ‘someone who teaches, especially in schools’,

But what about the teachers that don’t teach in schools?

What about the teachers who teach us how to be kind,

Not only to others but to ourselves too?

What about the teachers that teach us how to be brave and appreciate what we have?

What about the teachers that we all lose inside of ourselves because we’re too busy sitting in front of books of anything but how to be a human being,

Instead of exploring the world and learning things we can teach the future generations?

 

This girl, listening to her teacher,

Cries.

She cries because she can’t pass those exams,

Even though she’s intelligent and ambitious,

She’s not equipped to sit in a room for two hours getting stressed over a piece of paper she may just as well rip.

She’s not equipped to be put into categories of “dumb” and “not dumb” because she knows that’s just wrong.

She’d be put into the “dumb” category but she writes with words that are brighter than a rainbow taking her far past the thunderstorms of examinations,

And her smile lights up the room when she enters one,

But even that has been stolen by the piece of paper.

 

‘Exams are coming up,’ her next teacher tells her.

And within the silence of students listening to the teacher,

The world loses another soul,

Stolen by a piece of paper.

Maria Szlenkier has suffered from mental health issues since she was about 12.  One of the most beneficial outlet tools she’s found as part of a coping strategy is writing.  Maria also loves horse-riding and thinks passion is what can drive a community to connect in a way mainstream society doesn’t usually encourage.