YOU SHOULD GO AND LOVE YOURSELF

Danni Gordon and Heather Pearson

For our Body Image issue Fearless Femme’s Managing Editor Heather Pearson took our mental health and wellness focused Q&A session to the lifeforce that is Danni Gordon of The Chachi Power Project. Together they discussed body image, mental health, and taking control of how we see ourselves and others through radical body positivity.

Q. We’ve been talking in the office about how some days we feel fearless while on other days fearfulness feels more present. Can you tell us about a fear you previously had which has now gone and about how you think of fear generally, is it something that motivates you or something you work with to inform your growth?

A. I only recently realised this but for a lot of my adolescent and adult life I have suffered from low level anxiety because my brain was always in ‘alert’ mode. This was all because I was terribly concerned — perhaps obsessed — about what other people thought of me and my body. Only since I started untangling my issues around my body image and changing my mindset towards my body have I realised the impact of that persistent alert mode. It’s sad to say, but it hugely affected my actions and the decisions I made during my most formative years.

The old phrase ‘what other people think of you is none of your business’ had rung in my ears a thousand times, but only a couple of years ago did that phrase make sense. In 2016 I spent a good solid year focusing on my self development which increased my self awareness. I read lots and went on a number of courses and during one of those courses we really focused on how your brain chemistry, thoughts and perspective are  totally manufactured by the millions of messages you have received from parents, peers, media and your life experiences. And I realised… this world has some pretty racist, fatphobic, a-moral, gendered, patriarchal, bigoted viewpoints which have probably messed everyone up to some degree or another… and each person is seeing the world through their own messed up lens. And that messed up lens has really got nothing to do with me, my life, my choices and my body. In fact, my whole being is so far removed from what they think is right or wrong or good or bad.

It made me think: ‘why on earth have I been concerned about what’s going on in their head? It has f-all to do with me!’ And it stopped right there. I don’t have that tremendous fear anymore. Well, it’s 99% gone and when it does crop up I remind myself why I don’t need to make up stories or put energy into what maybe/ perhaps might be going on in someone else’s brain. That fear used to motivate me to act in an inauthentic way because I was terribly insecure and now I am re-discovering who my authentic self really is. It’s actually quite fun to learn what my true self really is now that I don’t have a care about how people perceive me or my body. It’s so freeing.

Q. If you feel comfortable, can you tell us about any mental health challenges you face at the moment and how your work has helped or hindered your mental health? Also, if at all, how much do you separate your mental health from the rest of your identity when discussing who or how you are?

A. My mental health used to fluctuate from hour to hour, sometimes minute to minute. I thought that my mental wellbeing was something I was subjected to rather than something I was able to affect. I felt I had little control over it. I find that so silly now! Of course… just like I can take action to look after my body, I can take steps to look after my mind.

Right now, my mental health is stronger than ever before and it’s because I have made changes to my every day and immersed myself in my body positive and body confidence project: The Chachi Power Project (https://www.chachipowerproject.co.uk/). I started the project in 2017 to help others alter how they saw their bodies because I thought, if I can do it — and at one point I thought I was a lost cause — then other people definitely can.

The truth is, I am probably the biggest benefactor of the whole undertaking. With 30 odd years of habitual negative thinking about my body under my belt, it was gonna take more than one lightbulb moment to make the demons die away forever. Working on this project, reading, talking to others, discovering the Health at Every Size Movement, learning about injustice and discrimination in the media, understanding more about how our brains work, curating the media I expose myself to, taking my own advice and not giving energy or words to negativity around any bodies including mine… These have all helped to cement the way I now think about myself, my body and the wider world. This project has helped stop me from slipping back into old thought patterns which totally decimated my mental health.

In regards to separating my mental health from my identity, the state of my mental health 100% affects my perspective of how I am experiencing the world at each moment. I cannot separate it from the rest of my identity. For me, it is woven right in; I can’t hide it and I don’t need to as I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who want to know who and how I am, just as I want to know who and how they are.

Q. Self-care’s a mental health buzz-phrase right now, as you know. Depending on who we’ve spoken to, self-care refers to everything from having a pick-me- up ‘treat’ bar of chocolate when feeling tired, to visiting a psychiatrist or taking recovery time off work or classes. What, if anything, does self-care mean to you?

A. Self-care is a buzz word, yeah, but it’s just another way to talk about looking after yourself. What’s really important is understanding the base level of care you need to make sure you can function, if you are able to nourish yourself beyond that level then all the better.

Self-care gets this bad rep for appearing selfish or self-indulgent but as part of my project I encourage everyone to do one act of self-care every day. It can be for as little as 30 seconds if that’s all you have. On those occasions I suggest glancing at yourself in the mirror and shouting ‘I am a f***ing Warrior!’ Or — if you are able and it appeals to you — maybe you want to take the whole day to luxuriate in your pants if that’s what refills your cup. It’s different for everyone, but it’s fun to try and figure out what works for you.

Personally, self-care for me comes when I am making something with my hands or learning a new skill. It gives me a great sense of satisfaction, it cuts the chitter chatter in my brain and I feel accomplished and proud of myself when I have achieved something I wasn’t able to do the previous day. It also means I am pulled away from the addictive social media and work world which can get very overwhelming and I struggle with finding my ‘off switch’. Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy and realise I am not practicing what I preach, but I am getting better.

I have started working with independent craftspeople living in the Scottish central belt to put on a few fun ‘making’ events which coincide with the popular #selfcaresunday movement. I thought: if I like that form of self-care perhaps others might too, and it seems they do!

Q. If you could wave a magic wand and instantly pass legislation which you believe would radically improve any part of society’s mental health in the UK, what would your bill be entitled and why?

A. We need to remove the shame people have about their bodies. Fatphobia, exclusion, ableism, racism, discrimination and stigmatisation of ‘other’ bodies in the media are all destroying our individual happiness. These are the reasons no one has pride in their incredible bodies.

I want there to be a government campaign which encourages us to celebrate our bodies. And I mean ALL bodies, not just the bodies that look ‘healthy’. As we all know, you can’t tell somebody’s health from looking at their body and, more importantly, health is no basis for deciding whether a body deserves respect. All bodies deserve respect.

Every living body is a home to a life. And there is not one person on earth who doesn’t get to take pride in, and love, their home.

Clearly with different abilities affecting a number of bodies then, of course, it can be extremely hard for some people to love or take pride in their bodies but that is something that those individuals should get to navigate without the external shame our society and media places on those bodies.

At the moment, with the way our society is set up, and the constant crappy media messaging we get each day, it is nigh on impossible for people to even fathom loving their bodies because they are told each day that their bodies are wrong or broken or imperfect. That’s tosh. The majority of bodies (not all) are so boringly normal. It is truly a crime that people are made to feel shame about them.

So, to get back to the question, because I have a marketing brain rather than a legal/political brain can I have a full-on powerful government media campaign focused on telling us how blooming amazing we all are, please? When you encourage everyone to love, accept, appreciate and celebrate their bodies they start listening to them; being nice to them; moving them and taking care of them. I think that message would improve the physical and mental health, happiness and wellbeing of the population. That doesn’t happen when you tell people they should hate their body or feel shame about what their bodies size, shape, gender, colour or ability is. Perhaps legislation can come after that to police the stigmatising media we are exposed to — but let’s start with the media campaign first.

Q. During the summer, Fearless Femme’s content will be themed around Body Image. There’s clear crossover here with The Chachi Power Project. What’s the impact you want to make on the world with your work and when did you first know you would do something powerful and change-focused with your life?

A. I realise I am only one wee ant on this planet, but I think every person makes an impact to some degree, especially on their close community — whether that’s their family and friends or social media following or networks or whatever. I want the people who come into contact with me and my project to recognise the possibility that comes when you free up the negativity you have around your body. It’s not that I expect everyone I meet or who follows me to turn round and go ‘thanks! I love my body now!!’ (I can dream…), but I’d like to help people recognise that this idea that you need to see your body as a burden is utter crap. It’s a lie that is peddled for big corporation dollars and we don’t need to buy it.

I want people to realise that their body is a bloody incredible tool which helps them live a unique existence. If that’s too over-the-top for some people then I’ll tone it down, here goes: In the majority of cases your body says very little about who you are and what your life is, so start reducing the obsession you have with it. All it is, is a tool that helps you live your life, now go out and live it…

And I don’t think I’m being ridiculous when I say that that change in mindset can change your life; it changed mine. It means you can focus on more pressing priorities, you can increase the contribution that you make as an individual, the mental health benefits are huge; it can impact your relationships (especially your intimate ones) and it can have a massive knock on effect to your loved ones and the next generation, even how they view their bodies. I think the impact I want to make is helping people feel less burdened so they can realise the impact they can make.