Making WiNE | Pinky Ghadiali

By Pinky Ghadiali

Art by Ida Henrich

Like many of you I started off in life quite well. Despite being told I was shy yet intelligent, I knew my parents loved me and were proud of me. I’ve suffered with anxiety from about 6 years of age though – when I was bullied for the colour of my skin and my unique name. Somewhere in my teens I became insecure, self-conscious and lacking in confidence.

I went to university and read Optometry. Then I met someone and I was married for 5 years in my 20s – in which time I built a house, bought a business and had a son. I divorced my abusive husband just two weeks after my son was born and became a single parent. I moved house several times in one year with my then one-year-old, which was a very difficult time for me.

Life and the universe had slapped me on my face – hard. I felt this had broken me and then I had to pick up the pieces. I lost all of my confidence and my identity after giving birth and going through my divorce. I hit rock bottom as my anxiety started to take over my mind and my body. I was scared and I felt betrayed and lonely. I thought to myself, either I choose to be a victim and let those feelings rule me or I consciously choose to rule it. I wasn’t going to let it define me this time.

I decided to move to Edinburgh when my son was 18-months-old because I wanted to start a new, happy life for us. So, I found a job, moved flats three times in one year; had no friends or family to help or support us up here in Edinburgh. I remember it clearly as the darkest, loneliest and scariest times of my life. However, I learned so much from it, about myself and life in general. Sometimes things don’t work out the way you expect. And that’s okay.

I am not that person now. Some of you may know those feelings of self-doubt and lack of confidence that come through fear. Fear can be debilitating. At that time, I felt I was the only one who was going through this which made it worse. I think all of us experience lack of confidence and feeling alone at some stage. Which is why I am passionate about helping people who have been through a time where they have lost their confidence and lost their true authentic selves along their way.  

We change ourselves for one of two reasons; inspiration or desperation. I changed for desperation at first then later, for inspiration. I was no quitter and I was ready to make a difference. That was eleven years ago and since that time I have been in my never-ending pursuit of self-care, self-belief and self-learning. Going through a divorce while my son was two weeks old was no easy task. It was a steep learning curve and a big life lesson for me. Instead of focusing on what I am getting out of life, I decided to change my purpose into asking what am I becoming? To have more than what I have, I had to become more than what I was. If I didn’t have the resilience to get through the bullying, emotional and physical abuse of my previous relationship, I would not be where I am today. When you view your situation, and use it to catapult you to greater heights, that’s when the magic happens: “Everything you seek is within you.”

It is odd to look back at the person I was then because it’s like I was a different person. I can’t even the recognise the person I was. Having gone from feeling like I was never enough to being more than happy with who I am. It is an amazing feeling which why I want that for every single one of you.

My reason for empowering women with my mindset consulting comes down to how lonely and under-confident I felt when I started my entrepreneurial journey and how difficult it is being a mum, chef, housekeeper, PA, and much more to boot. I decided to help women who are in a similar situation because I get it. I was there once too. Motherhood is a happy yet difficult time for many ambitious women for various reasons. Mainly because you don’t know what to expect and you are in unfamiliar territory.

All of us, no matter how experienced or accomplished we may be, have fears that can hold us back. It’s part of our shared humanity. Now, I empower and coach women through that experience, to help them feel more confident about themselves; to struggle less. True inner confidence is about really loving yourself and feeling great about who you are and everything else will fall into place. No matter where you are now, there is always another level to reach, and to raise the bar you need to stay laser-focused on your objectives, whether those goals are career, business or personal. The best thing about making mindset changes is that it is quick easy and painless by making small simple steps – but the benefits are huge and life changing.

I founded WiNE (women in networking Edinburgh) in September 2015, with the main purpose of creating a support network online for women, who are new to the “back to work role’ or have entered the “entrepreneurial world.” The monthly face to face meet-ups have been a great success which creates a space to help empower, support and collaborate with ambitious like-minded women. It is amazing to see so many great women out there raising the bar and killing it! There are more than 2000 inspiring ladies within the groups and growing. 

I help women create a mindset to be more successful and confident in life. My passion is to help as many people as possible become more confident and create an impact. I am on a mission. And my “why” is my family; my beautiful son. I feel like I finally have a purpose in my life – it only took 40 years but I am so grateful to be here and doing what I am passionate about.