Volunteer Series: Becoming Fearless

Lauren Drinkwater

Illustrations by Ida Henrich and featuring artwork by Lauren Drinkwater  

This new series on Fearless volunteers gives writers, artists and partner organisations an opportunity to share why they choose to work with us. Most often, we know people want to be part of Fearless to pay forward support that made all the difference to them during a time of mental health challenge. The knowledge that a simple act of sharing powerfully breaks down the stigma positioning people in dangerous isolation and reducing our connections to one another is a beautiful, essential thing.

The increase in progressive social enterprises like Fearless Femme – businesses prioritising social change instead of profit – is expanding volunteering opportunities so people can increasingly align values, passions and work. So what do we know for sure about volunteering? Well, we know volunteering in a sector you want to work in puts important experience on CVs and builds confidence with entering the workforce as a young person or a returner. We also know through scientific research that altruism actually increases happiness, so volunteering with the specific aim of helping others benefits our own wellbeing too. As the UK’s Mental Health Foundation charity so aptly puts it, ‘doing good does you good’.

It’s hard to know where to begin when it comes to my mental health, which seems strange because it’s something I think about every day. This, of course, it a prime example of why living with a mental health illness is a process of living and learning, constantly. I find myself going through waves of feeling like I can express honestly and openly as well as feeling motivated to work towards my goal of living as a Mental Health & Body Positivity Artist.

“…mental health, body positivity and art are subjects that you can never know enough about!”

In spring I decided I wanted to dedicate every Sunday to be my ‘Creative Sunday’, the one day of the week where I would focus on gaining knowledge about mental health, body positivity, colour theory, self-care, being an artist and more. I wanted to fill my brain with as much information as possible with something that made my heart feel warm, my mind feel at ease and my body feel worthy. If I was to claim myself as someone who was going to give advice to others and allow people to trust in what I’m all about, I wanted to and still want to make sure I know what I’m saying comes from a safe, comfortable and true place. This is because mental health, body positivity and art are subjects that you can never know enough about! I spent a lot of time reading cool articles online and stumbled across the truly inspiring Fearless Femme — I didn’t know at the time but Fearless Femme was about to change my life as an artist, a woman and someone suffering from a mental health illness.

I plucked up the courage to submit some work, something I’d never done properly before. Although it was so scary and induced quite a lot of anxiety, you know what? It felt so good! Of course not as good as the reception I received from the Fearless Femme team — I was appreciated for something that had been and always will be the biggest relationship of my life. My art and my illness.

I could never thank Fearless Femme enough (honestly it’s hard to put into words), for the love they deliver into my lil heart every single day. They have given me strength when I thought my life was over, they have given me love when I couldn’t love myself and they have opened my world up in a way I didn’t think was possible.

“I am a Fearless Femme — I couldn’t remove that part of my soul even if I tried.”

I am a changed woman, or more so, I am more of a woman because of Fearless Femme. I still fear for my life, of course, I still fear I am not worthy, I still fear my art isn’t what people want to see and I still fear that I’ll never be able to live my life without shame or guilt. BUT, I am a Fearless Femme — I couldn’t remove that part of my soul even if I tried. It’s ingrained into me and I will hold onto that for my forever.